Alone with myself...

The night falls without a sound, so lost am I.
The emotion for which I lust flares once, then dies.
Smothered by my obsession, all hope must surely perish.
My soul thrives no more.
How can you abandon me?
Shadows surround me, crying, save me from myself!!

My random thoughts on rain....

I wish it would rain again. It has such a calming effect on me. Whatever I'm thinking or feeling slowly dissolves through my body. And the smell. Soooo intoxicating. The Earth's perfume is what I jokingly call rain. Tonight I really could use some rain. I hurt sooo bad but my screams must not be heard. My soul is gasping for anything to hold on to. Is anyone out there? I'm slowly fading into the background. Would anyone even notice if I dissapear?

My Soul Number is TWO

I did my Numerology tonight to see what it would say. I thought I could get alittle laugh out of it but boy was I ever wrong! So close to the truth. WOW! The laugh was on me. Anyway, here it is.....

You need people and feel incomplete without someone to love and care about. Shared happiness and togetherness are more important to you than personal glory or being in the limelight. You are most comfortable being in a supporting role, and you are likely to depend a great deal on your mate and your close friends. Considerate, tactful, and sensitive to the needs of others, you instinctively know how to blend with people. You are adaptable and you understand the ebb and flow, the give and take, the compromises necessary for harmonious relationships.

That was really scary to read! LOL! Oh, theres more.....


You are a peace maker, the one to pour oil over troubled waters, but because you value peace so much, you may submit your own will to another, stronger person rather than fight. Though you don't like to rock the boat, you should learn to stand up for yourself when you need to.

This is slightly off. I'm usually the one fighting. My mouth seems to have a mind of its own at times. Just recently I became my familys BLACK SHEEP! I said the things that others wanted to say but didnt have the guts. I'm ashamed how I acted but still stand up for my beliefs. Hopefully by the holidays this whole matter will dissolve and there will be harmony again if not, It will be some lonely holidays to look forward too. I'm rambling again.......

Deep Desire...

I am overwhelmed with a burning desire

A desire locked down deep inside

One that cannot be concealed anymore

I long for one sweet kiss to quench my thirst

I long for one tender touch that will last a lifetime

At the end of it all you are my deepest desire!

I love you not today nor tomorrow but forever!

My random thinking.....

I wish there was a "easy button" for life at times. Then I could play. Run through the cool grass barefoot with the wind masseging my hair as I look up to meet the sun's ray as they touch my face with their radient arms of gold. The sweet smell of honeysuckle that tingles my nose as I breathe in Earth's lovely scent. I stop for a moment to savour the sensual juice of summer. How my throat burns for the liquid I call lemonade. I shiver and hold myself close. As I dont want this to end. But it will. Everything comes to a end. Why I scream. Why must I suffer the agony of summer's closing. I plead with Mother Nature. This is my moment. I fantasize about the sun's mighty touch that caress's my face thats heavy with tears now. My sweet tears fall from my brown eyes. I look upon the sunset like a lover who was betrayed. A lover who ravished my body with heat then cruelly takes it away. But my lover will be back. I will wait for his tiny kisses that will land on my face like little breathes.